suddenly wanna talk about this is coz was watching a love show.. hehe... it is actually a series fm taiwan if i am not mistaken.... i think some of u may haf heard or watch it... but it is currently my fav. show... hehe... it is "ai shan zhong jin li" erm... pardon my chinese but in english it is fallen for the GM.... general manager...

it is bout a hotel management n well.. things happening in the hotel n also a theme park... kinda like genting where they haf a hotel n theme park next to each other....


well... a few things that struck me was
1. your life, you control and handle it.

many times pass i did thought of sucidal... haha... n also... been rather slacky.... even... last time.... didn't really care bout safe sex... haha.... but now... i guess i start to take care of myself.... yup... my life.... i am the one to control it.... and it is my responsibility to take care of myself...

life... a precious thing... wat do we know about it.... well... we do know a lot about lifeless... when someone pass away... ya.. that we know... but wat about life... currently... while living... why is it always the same everywhere where we will not treasure one's life till it is over.... or treasure someone... until the person is gone... if one day... i leave this place.... who will miss me... who will wish that i am here.... who will remember me....

well... i still haf not found my purpose in life.... mayb i will not know or will not find.... but life still have to go on.... n i will go on tilll i find it...

well... one scary thing is.... ever wonder wat if ur purpose in life is to die.... haha.... mayb that the case u know... since we all die.... but... better not b too soon....


ok.... moving on.... the 2nd thing struck me is
2. when u love someone... it doesn't matter what comes... u will take it.... coz u love that person...

well.... to comment on it... takes up too long.... i know i haf been talking a lot about love.... strangely i know wat is it to give up everything for someone.... to take watever is thrown to me... to handle watever shit that comes.... but.... do i really know love? is that love?? how does love feel like??

is love judge by how long we stay attached? or mayb how well we live with one another... how much happiness we can bring to each other? or juz plain sex.... how good it is... i kinda donno it any more... where do we draw the line of being in love and liking....

suddenly... u r attached... is that love? or wat.... perhaps two lonely people get together.... stay together.... haf sex.... do things that couples do when in love.... but... is there love.... how do u define love?


i guess we are all in the process of learing... about seeing wat is love.... and life... but rest asure... if we think hard and see hard enough.... we will know... we will find out.... so here's to all.... seek the one.... n when u find it... don let go.... but... be sure that is the one....

望远[镜]看不见你 你的(心)飞去哪里
无声飞行 享受黑夜的静谧
别说对不起 别让我伤了心才说
不是故意 我却无法怪你
别说对不起 别让我的爱情变成
廉价物品 我却只能爱你
闭上眼[睛]却看见你 想你的[好]代替无力
我相信你 却开始不信任自己
别说对不起 别让我灰了心
才说不是故意 我却无法怪你
别说对不起 别让我的爱情变得
小心翼翼 我却只能爱你
用行动来证明 你的决心
不要说说而已 我想要的不只(是)sorry
(啊)无声飞行 享受黑夜的静谧
别说对不起 别让我伤了心才说
不是故意 我却无法怪你
别说对不起 别让我的爱情变成
廉价物品 我却只能爱你

出海口已经不远 我丢着空瓶许愿
海与天连成一线 在沙洲对你埋怨
芦苇花白茫一遍 爱过你短暂停留的容颜
南方的冬天 我的心却无法事过境迁
你觅食爱情的那一张脸 过境说的永远
随着涨潮不见 变成我记忆里的明信片
你的爱飞很远 像候鸟看不见
在湿地的水面 那伤心乱成一遍
你的爱飞很远 像候鸟季节变迁
我含泪面向着北边 出海口已经不远
我丢着空瓶许愿 海与天连成一线
在沙洲对你埋怨 芦苇花白茫一遍
爱过你短暂停留的容颜 南方的冬天
我的心却无法事过境迁 你觅食爱情的那一张脸
过境说的永远 随着涨潮不见
变成我记忆里的明信片 你的爱飞很远
像候鸟看不见 在湿地的水面
那伤心乱成一遍 你的爱飞很远
像候鸟季节变迁 我含泪面向着北边
你的爱飞很远 像候鸟看不见
我站在河岸边 被树丛隔离想念
你的爱飞很远 像候鸟季节变迁
你往北向南说再见 再(见)再见

Friends are Forever

fRiends are Really needed

frIends are Indeed god's gift

friEnds are Ever ready for you

frieNds are Not just for fun

frienDs are Dependable

friendS are SUPER SPECIAL



yup yup... i believe they are... hehe....

if they don... then u got to ask urself r they consider frens...

frens do not juz coz of something small n break up friendship....

really there are so many things we can say bout frens... but... true frens... .where are they??


think bout it.... u never know....


but.... i am sure i am glad to haf some people in my life.... n i am sure they know who they are...

thank u for being my friend n being there for me....

every body will hurt someone....

sometimes while doing something good for someone... u hurt that person instead...

it does hurt a lot sometimes... thinking about what had happened and knowing that it cannot happen again....

sometimes... a part of u will wan that same thing to happen again... but we all know... that it cannot...

they say that this is part of life... part of growing up... where u learn that things come n go.... n u learn that people come n people go... things change... things don go ur way... n that sucks....

but then again... life goes on.... n no matter how much u wan it to be the way u like it.... life still goes on.....

perhaps we should be thinking... wat is it wif life....

if everything goes ur way.... perhaps it will be good... parhaps bad.... coz u will never know or leave or experience or feel about something.... may not be good... but special... something worth paying for it.... even if it cost ur youth, your health, your karma for those who believe, your money, maybe even ur life...

see.... that is looking at things on the bright side.... but then again... haah.... the bright side is always wrong.... it is juz something people use to bring themselves up again n again n again....

well... good thing.... some lucky ones will get to see the bright side more often then others.... the bad thing.... if we don look for the bright side, life isn't juz worth living....

then again... if it hurts n bright side seldom appear... wat is the point of living....

no i am not depress... juz sad... n bloody hell don any of the government use this against me... unless u decided that my mind is not sane enough.... then perhaps it is better to stay in IMH....



now anyone has got 5 gb in their come can lend me for a while... coz i need to back up my songs as my precious zen is spoilt... hiaz.... actually i donno... almost everything is precious to me... well... i guess u guy donno... but... i guess i am a very "feeling" kinda guy.... things that came wif a box... i will still keep the box... y my room is in a mess... coz when ever something that comes wif a box, a gift fm others... i will not throw it away... coz even the box is too precious to b thrown... n even if something spoilt... i will not throw... coz it is precious... n it brings back memories... fond n sad m happy memories... well.. i really donno lar... mayb that is a childish me... but... i don like things or people leaving me... not at all... actually... i don wanna exchange my zen for a new one... coz... this is really my precious.... was hoping they can repair it... hiaz... mayb i should juz get a new zen?? hmmmm ......

o m g....


cannot believe i actually thought of that...


cannot believe i did that....



meditation needed....


calming effect on....



better start chaining myself before more harm is done....



but then again... a part of me likes it.... *shivers*



meditation.... meditation.....

"Love is something I find it hard to explain to you, for example: I may love a flower but I would only choose to admire it from far. I may love the seasons but they would not stop for me. I may love the clouds but they are beyond my reach."

"What are u trying to teach me? I am asking abt love between humans and not of things like flowers, seasons or even clouds."

"haha... then u dun understand abt love... The flower represent someone that u know u have a liking of but then u think that u r not gd enough for him/her and thus u only choose to admire from far. The keyword is CHOOSE... Love is very much abt choice... Seasons represent pple that play a small part in your life but they are unable to be with u forever, in short we called these pple mistakes or memories in our lifes. They could be beautiful like spring or cruel like winter but they do taught us something at the end of the day... They are just not the right person for us. Clouds talk about someone far beyond ur reach... Everyone has his/her own dreams of how the perfect date shd be but then everyone is not perfect in a certain way... Having such thots in ur mind only pull u further and further away from finding true love. Having said all these, u would realise that it's a flow of events. You are considering a 'flower' and then maybe it's a wrong one, so it turns out to be a 'season' Failing that you would make the same mistake again, u start to pic a 'cloud' in your life. "

"Haiz... u make it sound as if I would never be able to find true love liao."

"No, I believe in love. I know that my love is out there.... waiting for me and I just know that I may not be as lucky as others cos I have to go through a lot of 'seasons' to find my true love. The main thing is that we must understand 'seasons' dun pull us down. The only thing that pull us down is our own thots..."
------------------

got this fm my fren's blog.... find it very meaningful... hee... so copy it down.... err.... any copyright involve?? hehe....


anyway, here is my take... for 3 - 4 yrs i haf been hafing this "cloud" like attitude towards karen... haha she can do no wrong... she is perfect... haha... but then... i guess it ended when we decided we're too close liao...

anyway, i do take whoever that comes like the season... coz... do feel a bit flowery sometimes... most of the time it is cloud.... haha....

expectation... that wat they say... i donno.... but really a good thing to look into... hehe...

so heres to all u people who's reading... hope u will find the right flower... hehe... n for those who haf... hope it will not turn out to b a season... but most of all... stop looking at the cloud...