guess wat?????
i finally know wat to do wif the html page of my blog.....
lol....
so... erm... wat u all haf seen... is wat i haf been trying to do to my blog.... hehee.... o man... felt so silly... hehee.....
=P
looking back.... i think.... i juz come to term wif what happened..... yesterday went to tell elton... that where i got to update the later part of yesterday's update...
well... hiaz... donno.... still cry.... still this.... still that... but hopes that.... can get over...
ok.... well... went to tell elton... that all...
argh i donno wat i am saying......
anyway..... kevin, my fac.... was like saying.... how to kill people.... how to really commit suicide... felt as if someone used a shotgun shoot me.... ouch... painn..... then don feel like doin anything liao... hiaz.....
i donno lar..... o not thinking straight liao....
anyway.... i am not angry wif him.... coz... well it is part of lesson.... so.... it is ok... hiaz....
hiaz....
well... since it is out.... i can say it liao... b4 i burst....
ahem....
another one of my greatest regret in life... is not to do something sooner.... if only i did this.... if only i did that..... hiaz.... how i wish that i haf done that eariler.....
only in death do we see the need to change... do we see where we gone wrong... do we know that death is really something that cannot turn back....
third death for me this year... first, my grandpa.... then dar dar grandpa.... well... not so bad for dar dar's grand... but.... kinda.... sad to see that someone u see everytime u go to his house.... so healthy.... then fall sick.... sad y?? coz i haf been telling him to go n bring his grand to the doctor n no.. he got no time... fine... scold him liao... still the same... when i give up then bring.... then find out got problem... then donno wat happen?? then.... passed away....
lastly... donno wat happen.....
now... i wouldn't say we are close... coz i didn't really talk to her... mayb coz i didn't bother to.... mayb coz i am juz, as usual, will not talk to strangers unless i know them... perhaps... she is suppose to be the first i talk to befor hafin a reply... well... too late for that i guess....
same cca... drama.... she can act... if she dares to speak up.... only thing?? language barrier... y?? coz she is from china... now i don mind speaking to her in chinese... but sometimes.... well... we will be like.... talk a bit then nothing to say.... hiaz... camp.... it was great.... i didn't get to ask her how's my cooking.... i didn't even know if she tried... she is one of those "invisible" visible people... wat can i say.... we call ourselves the drama folks... y?? coz we are FAMILY.... not cca mates... not frens.... but FAMILY.... no matter how big or small a person is.... she/he is part of the family.... can't think of drama without her....
well... guess it is the little thing that makes us wonder.... makes us think.... so wat if everyone knows u... so wat??? at least she will be and is remembered by us.... i believe she is n she will be... y?? coz she has already been a part of me... one part i will never forget... she... small little one... makes us thinks so much.... makes us really really think....
i wanna post this thing to all of u.... if someone small were to die... will u b affected??? if u will make that person something big in your life.... n u may save him or her....
don take people for granted.... no matter how bad or how good you like the person.... they can't n may not b there forever.....
you know.... dar dar keep telling me to go back to him... coz he donno how long he will live.... i really donno.... he kept saying n telling me bout people dying juz like that.... i think i finally understand wat he meant liao... hiaz....
but... a decision is a decision..... once made accept all that comes your way.....
all people.... i love u... don do stupid thing ok....
by the way... i am saying this coz... my fren.... was found.... on the ground floor of a HDB flat....
fill in the blanks yourself.....
IN LOVING MEMORY OF ALICE.....
soft strong wind over my face
as i see your smile over again
perhaps it would be better this way
that, without a word, u went away
leaving behind a strange wide world
entering one, with grace and love
baby baby, one's innocent's lost
tonight i'll be the one forlorn
a day or two is good enough
a mth or so juz seems too much
a year will go like river flow
but stay u will as long as it goes
words not spoken, never to speak
feelings unfelt, never to feel
wonder now as here i stay
what will happen if things have stay
the way it was, the way things are
maybe know you not, i always will be
courage it took to take that step
but encourage's something that cannot get
if one had done what one had not
you will be right here with us
too late to say too late to do
so end this i shall with red and blue
blood may flow like water it be
memories of you, shall never cease...
ok... sorry... too long never update....
well.... first... i wanna say.... not angry wif these people whom i am talking about.... juz wanna say my piece of mind.... n the same goes out to u all...... althought not all of u r here to see this but i still hope u guys will follow... be it for u or not.....
firstly.... taking care of others....
i understand about the fact that we care for others.... n that we all wan the best for others (i hope) but pls... if u can't take care of yourself, how can u take care of others??
put it this way... u think u can help others if u cannot help yourself?? would a teacher call someone who fails math or who couldn't do math teach someone else maths??? it is like the blind leading the blind.... o come on... wake up!!! you may end up causing more trouble than what u wanna do...
the fact bout helping others.... we can help others TO THE BEST OF
OUR ABILITY... if u can't do it, then say NO!!!! o man.... it is as good as being a doctor when you have no medical background..... u may end up killing that someone.... we shall talk bout that later on.....
next.... studies.....
singapore has made it such that the piece of bloody paper is so important that it is to
DIE for... o man!!! look...wat is more important.... life or studies??? o come on..... if u die, wat is that piece of paper??? something u can bring up to heaven n enter that?? something that will help u go to the next life??? o pls lor.... yes, studies is important.... but so is health!!! so pls take care of urself.... pls.... i don wanna lose any more of my frens.....
hiaz.... this bring me to my third n last topic... which is actually a lot of things.... in fact... there are many things to say bout this.... hiaz.... sorry if u don understand... coz... i really really am emotional now.....
y??
one of my fren juz commit sucidie....
stupid?? i donno.... i donno y....
so wat is there to say???
YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL ALIVE BETTER STAY THAT WAY OR ELSE I WILL PERSONALLY GO TO U N FUCK U LEFT RIGHT UP-SIDE DOWN!!!!!
firstly, there is no need for anyone of u to do that.... pls... anything u can find people to talk to.... pls go n find that one to talk to..... juz talk to people.....
i regread this coz this is a fren who don talk... so... i don really know her... but... hiaz....
watever it is, i wan u all out there.... don do stupid thing.... try to b fren wif people who r "weird" who don talk.... make frens wif them.... u may save their life.... don take people for granted.... even those who u donno..... people may go anytime.... n... never jugde a book by it cover.....
hope u all know wat i mean....
in loving memory...... friends 4ever.....