well yesterday n today haf been better..... hahaha.... much much better.... juz that i need to catch up on my slp..... coz tml n sunday expected to b very slp less..... due to the competition..... hope that they don stop us from goin wif only 6 members..... lol.....

after all that i haf been through i realli need to stop holding on to things....... things that are irrelevant to my life..... well memories can b kept..... but holding on to stuff.... tt is a no no..... did not go to sch yesterday..... too disturbed to go.....however, found sum things bout myself...... i need to let go..... really let go......... things that are on my mind...... let go.... let go of everything.......

man to achieve that, guess it will take sum times...... but i will b strong......fall n now it is time to stand....... n damn bloody hell i will stand......

need to make a trip to cck..... need to see her....... can't get her off my head........

lol.... suddenly so sad.... tt i cannot slp again..... hiaz..... sad...... wanna cry but cannot....... sumtimes i feel that i am so weak..... but my dear says i am not..... coz well this is me..... last time i believe..... now??? guess still findin my feet......dear tok to me bout turnin back time..... goin back to the past to change the past...... wat do i feel????? well ask urself this

if i go back.... can i bring miss neo back to life???? can i go to the mrt station to stop her from dying??? even if i did.... does tt means tt she will not die???? so wat if i did it..... in the end we haf to die..... n well if i go back in time does tt means tt she will not b cut, slice, run over into half as wat happen to her..... will it???? n well i wonder if she did not die will i learn to appreciate pple???? not to take pple for granted???? will i?????? will the reporters not say tt she commit sucide???? tt due to stress fm sch tt she commit sucide????? well i don think so..... no matter wat, the only thing that has left is tt she is gone n i am still here.... however..... she is gone n i am here.... n haf not move on..... n well don think it will b anytime soon...... i miss her..... i know.... i still do...... n well wat to do???? miss neo... promise not to cry due to u again.... but guess i can't keep it.... sorri....

IN LOVING MEMORIES OF DEAREST, SWEETEST MISS NEO......... U WILL B GREATLY TREASURED N REMEMBERED BY ALL...... THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT U HAF LEFT BEHIND...... WILL REMEMBER ALL THAT U HAF TAUGH US N THANK U FOR WAT LITTLE BUT GREAT THINGS U HAF DONE...... ALWAYS REMEMBERED BY......

well me... samuel soon...... [hihs]{5N2}[Republic Poly]
still scare of above ground mrt....... but i will survive...... i hope......



wat happen on monday sucks...... well wat to do...... i will remember it for the rest of my life....... remember this u asshole..... i may not get u now..... but u suck n don let me see u again..... pray n hope that i haf not gotten any more powerful or else i will make sure u suffer n pay for all tt u haf put me through...... fuckin asshole......... pray that i will get over u soon..... or else......... fuckin asshole......... wat u coz me is not sumthin u can juz get it over wif..... n u sucks.....

scare of single deck bus...... but due to sch.... hiaz wat to do......
scare of pple touchin me...... but so many close frens..... will get over.....

sad sad sad.......

n i am not done wif u asshole.....

this is wat i posted yesterday, 2 dec......
WHO THE FUCK IS THE ONE WHO PLANNED YESTERDAY???????????????????

BLOODY HELL...... THE WORST DAY OF MY WHOLE ENTIRE FRICKING LIFE!!!!!

EVERYTHING IS BAD N WRONG............ WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLOODY FRICKING HELL

N TODAY????? NO BETTER.......... STUPID AFTER EFFECT............. BLOODY FRICKING FUCKING HELL............... GET OUTTA MY HEAD U ASSHOLE


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Y IS IT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Y MUZ IT HAPPEN TO ME????????????????????????????????????

FUCK U DAMN U FRICK U BLOODY ASSHOLE.................................................

GET OUTTA OF MY FRICKIN FUCKIN LIFE U BLOODY FRICKIN ASSHOLE !!!!!!!

o by the way...... CAN I KILL U?????????

first time wanna kill sumone so badly................................................................

sumthing bad happen to me..... don wanna tell u all bout it...... to shy, embarasses to say...... well kinda fine now..... now haf to go n well..... get over it n all.....

well wat to do... lol...... n beside, i more or less haf gotten over it.... thankz 2 u.... u know who u r...... thank u for lettin me see wat my eyes can't see.... but pls take care...... remember wat i said to u...... i am sorry tt it will happen but pls take care......

n now i am better...... still scared, still frighten, still can't stand to b reminded of it..... but i am stronger now..... much more..... n i will not run so much now......

i think i haf had enough of thinkin...... n well... i wanna let go..... but can't bring myself to.... will i or not???..... i guess in the future....... but for now u r in me n the longer u stay u worst i get..... still i can't let go...... hiaz...... i am learnin..... i will still go on.... life haf to go on.......

well sadd sad sad.... the only thing tt is keepin me sane is surprisingly sch n my frens...... thank u very much..... n well sch...... everything goes in then come out..... so wat to do..... but at least i am not reminded of THAT.........

o well everything is gonna b fine everything is gonna b fine every or is it???? i donno.............

[SPONSOR]

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all

I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside

The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait 'til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months, I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again

You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside

The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait 'til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside

The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait 'til I get home
To pass the time in my room alone