okok... updating boggy now....
yesterday suppose to meet kenny... but then he got something on so went to meet chris n alvin instead.... n well... long time no see n i kinda miss them.... hehhee.... went to eat at people's park then went to nines.... hahaa... then well... alvin n chris playing wif their erm... i donno wat... hahaa... kinda repelling so went for a walk.... when i am feelin better felt so presence following me... hiaz.... o well... nth much lar... so went back..... then went leaving dar msg n asked me if i am at nines... he mayb coming down... so i waited till 10 n kenny called and actually wanna join us.... but since we r leavin as dar dar not comin so asked him not to come lor....
then went back... saw virgil.... hehehe.... well... he joined us a while in nines lar.... hehe... o n micheal... so nice..... HE GAVE ME CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok... happy beyond words.. as u all know.... hehehe......
went off at the bus.... well.. kinda didn't know wat i did sia.... then did something to alvin's ball ball.... then... donno wat happen sia.... pissed him a lot..... sob sob.... sorry alvin......
then dar, who told me he is aslp, msg me ask me still at nines or not... then i called him n found out he still out.... so i was like....
me: still out ar....
dar: ya lor...
me: thought u say u slp liao
dar: say coz i don wan u to worry wat...
me: who say i will worry...
dar: u will not mah??
me: wait.... u not home yet???? y so late??? etc etc....
dar: see, u still say u will not worry
me: ... =P
haahha.... man... cannot help it lar... hehehe.... but then.... wished i haf waited 4 kenny so can see him sia.....
well that is yesterday.....
alvin aka pan pan: hey... i really am sorry sia..... didn't know wat happen sia.... i kinda like.... thought that it is just something small.... but then... i didn't know wat happen sia... i really really am sorry....
well then... moving on to today.... y am i in eric's house??? hahaha....
firstly there is cheer trainin today.... but then it was canceled.... so well... i didn't know coz no one called me to tell me sia.... then took a but to yishun.... to transfer train lar.... then called eric up... to chat sia.... hahaa.... when i am at home called sus up liao to tell her i will b late... then she no reply so i sms her... then when i reach yishun then she called to tell me today don haf... n i was talkin to eric still n since he stays in yishun... so went to his house lor... hehee.... so i am here now lor....
o well.. yishun... haha.... i donno lar... just feel.... so... cannot describe.... hahaa... well... mainly coz of adrian.... n like i say.... i can't forget him.... the time i spent wif him is one of the most wonderful period of my life.... so i really can't forget.... o well... all i can say is that...
thank you adrian for all that you haf done for me.... those time i spent is one of the best in my life..... thank you coz if not for u, i am not who i am today.... i can't tell u how much u mean to me... i will never forget u n i wish u all the best in all that u do... =D
n i still can't stop thinkin of dar dar!!!..... hehee.... waitin for his call.... see if he bringing me out for dinner or not.... hheheeehe.....
oh yeah
i know you're feeling kind a nervous
cos we're finally all alone
i know you had someother lovers
and they left you kind of cold
and so you built a fortress
so my high 'n' hopeless
takes a lotta time to make walls crumble
stone by stone i'll make 'em tumble for you
cause i've got all the time in the world
all my life for you girl
now the timing is right
baby we've got all night
so lay right here by my side
take your dreams for a ride
loves like sand making pearls
and i've got all the time in the world
all the time in the world
oh yeah.
i know it's hard to let me love you
when our trust is on the line
i know it takes a lot of courage
when your faith is hard to find
but i've never tried to hurt you
i fight heaven and earth to protect you
so take your time and feel me near you
there's nothing to fear when I'm with you.
cause i've got all the time in the world
all my life for you girl
now the timing is right
baby we've got allnight
so lay right here by my side
take your dreams for a ride
loves like sand making pearls
and i've got all the time in the world
all the time in the world
cause i've got all the time in the world
all my life for you girl
now the timing is right
baby we've got allnight
so lay right here by my side
take your dreams for a ride
loves like a sand making pearls
and i've got all the time in the world
all the time in the world
i kinda like this song.... donno y sia.... listening to it reminds me of dar dar sia....
n i change template liao!!!! hehee... thanks to eric di!!! MUACKZ!!! hehehe.... i think got music also.... hehe.... =P
need to do a quick one... coz going for training soon.... hehee....
*ahem*
erm... sorry to say this people.... but... pls stop asking me to change or becomes straight.... i mean... i haf chosen this path.... n there is no use asking me to become who or wat i don wanna be.... put it this way.... wat if i ask u to become gay??? wat will ur reaction be??? i am not angry or wat.... juz... well.. u know....
n WJ.... cya on sat man!!!! u better b there sia..... hehehe.... miss u deary..... thank god other than anne no one else fm YCS read this sia.... if not... i'll b dead.... hehehe....
ok... counting down to the day i step down.... can't wait sia.....
ok... i wanna say this to my dearest mummy..... anne pang c** ling.... sorry... donno how to spell... is it... nvm...
i think u haf a hard time wif me as ur spiritual in charge.... i will not give any excuse for my "doing" and i think u will understand..... kinda hard with who i am n this faith i profess.... hehehe..... well.... i know that there are many things that i did not do... and all... but i really really hope that aft this, we will still keep in touch.... hehe.... i still feel that i am closer to u than anyone else in YCS.... in fact.... the three YCS people who are readin this.... u guys r the closest to me..... namely, anne, WJ, and donkey..... thinking back.... how long have we known each other???? 6 years?? 7 years??? i donno.... lost track.... hahaha..... n to think that i used to think that dom is too sissy for my taste.... ahhahaha..... oops.... hehehe... now it seems.... i can b worst!!!! hahahaa.....
hey i know this is hard.... i donno how to say this to u..... well u see... when i was in primary sch, such things never cross my mind..... and now.... i donno wat to say..... but now.... i made my choice.... to b aj n well... wif my dar dar..... i like it like this.... anne anne... i donno how well u can take this.... i think u can.... but u haf to know..... that i still like u the way it was last time n now..... no change..... i still love the times we haf recess together..... wif jacqueline...... how I used to disturbe u two sayin that u two eat so slow..... but now... it seems that i am even slower.... hahaha.... well thhings change.... all things change..... but u r still a pal.... u r more than a fren already..... u r more than a lover.... u r already my soul mate..... n there is nothhing i will not do for u..... take care of urself kk..... watever u need, when ever u need.... do give me a ring..... n "i'll b there for u...."
love u mummy!!!~!
ps... one of this days muz briing u go n see ur grand son sia.... he is very cute.... hehee..... =P
o well... aft leaving nines yesterday.... suddenly felt.... a strange yet familiar feeling..... walk walk walk.... then realise something.... it is the feeling of being alone..... recharge... thininking...... felt so good n refresh.... then wanna call people out.... but seems like... no one free.... o well... went home n play game... hehee....
i find that so many songs spark so many things bout me sia.... feelings and all.... but o well... better control...
now am in sch lar... then on the way here.... saw this guy.... he knows me.... but me kinda forgot who he is..... that set me thinking.... bout my old frens.... kinda lost touch wif them sia..... hiaz...... miss them suddenly.....
then that is not all..... coz that guy looks like..... gundamX..... adrian..... hhey hey... it is not that.... it is juz.... well... i really donno wat to say.... wat i felt was..... something lost.... something good... no, something great.... n gone.... sad... yes.... unhappy... ya..... but... not so much as last time......
so it set me thinking.... how many times are we able to totally foget someone??? forget bout wat we went through??? forget about the whole time we were together.... i mean... if it means something, then...it got to be... like... i donno...... coz it is like... i only think like that bout adrian..... the rest.... sad to say.... no.... not like this.... i think bout the time we are together.... but anything that reminds me of adrian.... juz bring back pain..... well at least not as much as last time..... but still there sia.....
n u know wat??? all i have to do is think of dar dar, n everything dissapper!!! hhehehe.... man... cool sia..... my wonder dar....hiaz.... so miss him..... am sure he misses me too.... hehee... but he don wanna say..... damn... hahhahaa.....
juz say my fac.... now forgot wat i wanna say liao.... ahahhaha.... o well guess i'll end here.... so tat all for today people.... till the next time i go online again..... ciao!!!
too long never update blog liao.... sorry people..... don think i can remember lots of stuff.... so guess will not say too much.....
i hope.... hehehhee......
well start things off..... my grandpa.... he haf well... cancer..... last stage liao..... kinda well.... he haf water in his brain.... then... go for operation.... n..... SUCCESS!!!!! hehe..... donno wat to say.... juz.... so happy.... hehee..... THANK U GOD!!
cheerleading.... well.... too many injury liao.... but not as bad as the flyers..... but way too many mental injury too.... hiaz..... stay or go??? never thought that i will think this way.... o well... all i can say is.... am stayin for now.....
now.... personally.... to someone..... it is not as easy as u think.... so wat if i have people.... so wat if i haf frens???? i know people care..... but.... can any one of u tell me to be str8 or to be aj?? no rite??? coz these are decision made by myself.... not that i donno or thinking of wat to choose.... but more like.... thinking.... n these are things that i have to settle myself.... coz it is my story.... my life..... and y am i sayin this??? for the first time in my life, i think... if my mummy ask me to get married to pass on the family line.... i may sia.... y??
all my life.... i am seeking only one thing..... my mom approval..... y?? i donno.... did a lot of things to impress her.... to make her say "well done"..... but all i got?? was nothing...... was master of ceremony (MC) last year for easter vigil mass... did i do well?? i think i did.... n wat she say?? nothing.... no praise... nothing..... this year my bro did it... n well.... wat can i say..... 3 words.... Full Of Praise.... to say i am jealous oof my bro?? no i am not.... y??? mayb coz of my birth.... she kinda haf to go through a lot due to me.... me being premature n all.... so.... all i can say is.... though it is not my fault.... i can't help blaming myself..... wat to do.... well... now... i know she will not give me wat i wan.... so.... there u haf... the current me.... for those who know me long will know wat i mean.... i changed a lot..... A LOT......
next.... my faith..... wat to say sia.... juz serve mass yesterday.... felt like.... like i was born to do it..... it felt so easy.... so free..... so natural..... so..... like.... i donno..... like when u put a duck in water for the first time n it started swimming..... i donno but it felt good..... hehe.... =P
now.... on to dar dar.... erm.... well.... nothhing is wrong.... everything fine..... hehe.... but thinking too much..... too crazy bout him i guess...... hehee.... i juz donno.... hehee....
haf you guys watched City Of Angels???
ANGEL
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelrie
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelrie
In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
i felt that he is my angel.... feels like heaven....
IRIS
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
wat can i say... he juz knows who i am..... i really really like the show sia..... n.... call me stupid.... but.... i can't think of him leavin me sia.... n coz if he do..... i donno.....felt.... like.... goin too.... damn i watch too much tv liao...... thinking too much of death sia..... *dot dot dot*
dar dar.... i donno wat to say to u.... i really donno.... this is not the "we haf nothing to say" donno wat to say.... this is the "words can't describe" donno wat to say.... when i am wif u.... i don need to talk.... i got nothing to say.... u can say that i am enchanted by u.... i think so sia.... this is way beyond happiness.... it is something.... something that i cannot put words on... haha.... i can only say here sia.... coz u don read this.... n if i tell u u will start your "man he loves me so much that i am scare sia" look or you will go into your "i don haf the money, looks, figure unlike u... y do u love me so" thingy again..... hahaha..... dar.... all the things u do for me..... all that u let me feel.... man... it is really really way beyond words.... n like u, all i can say is "i have nothing to give you but my love" I LOVE U DAR DAR!!!!
sorry to those who juz break up.... not attached n wanting to..... n well.... can't or done like this lovey dovey thingy..... but.... this is my blog!!!!!
ok... now.... msgers again.....
to all who posted at my tag: thhanks man..... u guys donno that i read my blog to read wat u guys say sia.... hehehe.... =P
son: i got well liao.... hehhee thanks for ur comment.... next time go out i will try to go wif u ya??? hehhee....
solitude: thanks man!!! well... actually i fail my test... hehhee.... n i will take care... don worry.... i think i know wat u mean.....
linus kor: sorry.... FF addict..... hardcore player here..... =P
kast: wait long long dick also cannot b hard to fuck a gal...... =P
alvin: hehe.... free??/ wanna go out??? hehehe... =P
joe: miss me??? hehhee =P
virgil: cannot help it lar... but..... damn... u r juz so good to take care of urself.... n so that is y i told u wat i did....
sorry guys.... too many pent up emotions n thoughts...... now letting them out.... kinda cool.... don worry too much bout me guys.... coz i can take care of myself....
i really really feel like i can't get enough of typing in my blog..... hiaz.....