well... suppose to leave at 3 to meet him..... but met him at 6...

well... he was quite unhappy....

then aft movie made him angry....

then he cancel our meeting tml....

hiaz....



then mummy come in n scold me that i put my blue pants into the washing machine n was then the whole clothes turn blue.... n i was like how i know.... then got scolding... hiaz....


it at times like these that i wish that the spider poison will like react n cause something to happen.... or that i am HIV positive... then don haf to worry liao....

hiaz....

anyway, went to a HIV test today.... am neg.... hiaz....

for once in my life i wanna b positive....

positive that we are still together.... but then together in wat sense.... i donno....
don even know wat is our current status....

hiaz....



can i juz slp n not wake up?



It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss and
It's gettin' better baby
No one can better this
I'm still hold on and you're still the one
The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger and I wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on

So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me If I need ya like I do
Please believe me Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
We're still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough
I'm still holdin' on You're still number one
I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves
I remember you
I remember the nights ya know I still do

One thing I'm sure of
Is the way we make love
And the one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...

hiaz.... me got a headache for like.... so long liao.....

pain... sob sob.... eating panadol like eating sweet like that.....

hmmm.... do u think we can come up wif chocolate flavour panadol???

sob sob

would say this is one of the most difficult question i can ever answer... at many parts of my life now... i though i know the answer... but then....

well... today.... or rather... yesterday, i kinda got another answer to the question. and that is... me...

y? coz this is my life.... like wat M1 says... 1 life, live it....

i really really glad that i joined cheerleading.... it reallly really is very fun.... love it!! i mean... injuries wise, i am never injure as much as i am now but the fun i got.... it is great.... it is like... i am really alive... really really alive.... u will only feel live when u have live in ur hands.... how do u feel when u r holding a baby, especially if that is urs.... how would u feel if u r holding to someone u love.... how would u feel if u caught ur flyer.... and lastly.... if someone dies in ur hands..... that feeling... that is life.....

n this life of ours is in our own hands as well... that is why u can commit sucide.... coz it is ur life....

ok this is suppose to b a happy post.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------

so u see..... this is life..... and... suddenly i realise that my life is control by me alone.... well, look at what i have choosen.... the people in my life... the things i do.... well... in a way, i did not control.... my passion for cheerleading will make me say ok to tonite's performance n tml's one as well.... y? coz it is my passion..... i came to realise this.... that if i don take care of myself, no one will.... n if i don take care of myself.... i cannot cheer anymore.... that is y i say no to tonite n tml's performance.... even though i feel that the possibility of me fainting or developing complication is low.... i still got to say no.... as there is still that possibility...... i got to take care of myself.... coz if i don, who will.....

well... so now.... i got to take care of someone else too.... so i got to start learning to take care of myself then him too... well... i know i always will take good care of others... but now the time to do so for myself... ehhee...

anyway, a message to all people who are not taking care of urself.... or taking care of others more than urself: like wat i told wes... if u cannot take care of urself how can u take care of others.... in cheerleading, the base haf to take care of the flyer... if the base don take care of himself or herself.... how to take care of the flyer.... if the base falls... the flyer will get injure too..... thus i will take care of myself.... i promise u i will....


so cheerleading gang.... wait for me... i will b back.... if u guys still wan me back lar... n promise me.... u guys will take care of each other.... although i guess it is only jeff who will read this n mayb sue.... but i guess it time i let jeff link my blog.... hehe....

o well.... love u all.... take care ya....

i think i finally hit the big 20.... haha....

well.... firstly....

hiaz... felt that i let some people down.... i know how bad is it for cheerleading to be lack of someone.... especially... when u haf an important role to play....

but.... i hope they can understand....

between cheerleading n my health... my health comes first.....

this is not bout letting them down or not anymore.... it is bout my health.... if anything happens.... that means that is really really my last performance.....

stupid spider... cause me so much trouble.... hiaz....


sorry bout it... hope u guys can understand.....


headache for three days liao.... hiaz.... muscle aching.... shortage of breath this few days.... hiaz..... i this thing will blow over soon....



life's kinda different.... well one is with him around..... another is.... well... i kinda.... grew up.... started takin care of myself.... it is no longer others n fun... it is myself n him.... haha....

well... will update more.... time to meet him.... hehhe.....

well... update first....

sunday finally had the finals.... it is great... it is cool.... we did our best... but did not get top 3... so it is still cool!! hehe...

anyway, congrates to all who won... not like they will see this... haha....

cheerleading is a great sport... althought the injury we got is great n dangerous... but still... it is a risk.... either we choose to live wif it or not....

i choose not to...

thus am quitting the group...
well..... actually this friday aft the live match... n also aft the performance....

but... who know.....

got bitten by a spider last nite.... think it is poisonous....

went to see a GP.... got sent to the hospital A n E.... waited for like... 2 hrs plus.... haha.... thank god someone was there.... the things he done for me.... man it is beyond words....

anyway that y today can update blog... hehe....

donno am i ok yet... but hope that will b.... hehe....

FYP!!!! got to work hard!!!


the things u do for me.... only made me love u even more... wat else can i say... missing u already....