on wednesday, lesson ended at 1... then i went to the interview.... b4 goin tried to call u.... but u were bz.... so... well... went for the interview lar... halfway through while i was talking u called n i hang up on u... rite??? then u sms me.... sorry dar... didn't mean to do tat.... then aft that i went back to class... damn sian....

i waited for my uncle darius to finish his work b4 goin to eat... yes i know.... i am stupid... am very hungry yet waiting for him... but... juz wanna company to eat wat... hehee... =P anyway then eric finish his lesson so we gone n eat together lor... in fact... only me n eric... n eric's fren... so aft that he went back to class n wait for uncle while i go for meeting... remember.... wednesday i got drama meeting....

aft that went home... so slppy... hehehe.... then went to slp lor... then had dinner then say prayer then sllp.... hehee..... we talk rite??? i think that is when u r very slppy... then i ask u go n slp.... hehehe.... well i slp aft washing up the dishes.....

thursday
morning.... hehe... u know lar... i was late for school.... but still managed to take the test.... bad day in sch sia.... donno llar... mood swing.... pms i guess... hahah.... long time nv had it liao.... twin told me that it is coz i didn't had enough time alone.... so actually suppose to go out wif eric but decided against it.... took a long bus journey home n blast the music of lappy.... well.... guess am better.... but much much better aft talkin to u.... hehehe..... so nice... u called me twice... n really really.... now i seems to find more things to say to u... anyway dar.... couldn't wait to see u again... hehe..... hope sunday n monday can see u sia.... miss u like crazy.... muackz....


o by the way,
eric: sorry bout yesterday..... really wanna haf some time alone.... sorry sorry sorry....
vir: man u r rite.... i really need time alone sia.... hum..... let see how i can do that..... n my cards.... sob sob... hehehe.... =P

yesterday....

finish lesson at 1 went for interview then super cold...... then got to stay in sch till 5 for drama meeting.... then went home.... sorry.... am really tired to type....

donno wat happen now... too tired.... too slppy.... drained physically, mentally and spiritually....

dar.... where r u??????

唯一
曲：王力宏 词：刘志远/王力宏

我的天空多么的清晰 透明的承诺 是过去的空气
牵着我的手是你 但你的笑容却看不清
是否一颗星星变了心 从前的愿望也全都被抛弃
最近我无法呼吸 连自己的影子都想逃避（逃避）
BABY你就是我的唯一 两个世界都变心
回去谈何容易 确定你就是我的唯一
独自对着电话说我爱你我真的爱你
BABY 我已不能多爱你一些
其实早已超过爱的界线

我和幸福有约定
S.H.E.

Good night东京
是否还在飘雨
台北好天气
我好想念你
星光闪耀
今生能遇见你真好
喔 I Believe 话不说
你也知道
沉闷的世界因为有了你 一切都改变
就连隔夜的一杯廉价咖啡
都变得香甜
不害怕
不担心
我和幸福有约定
就算是寂寞也不理
因为思念让爱零距离
为了你
我愿意
多用心照顾自己
也请你千万别忘记
我们曾和幸福有约定
RAP
宝贝别担心别害怕
我会将你的心紧紧收
好
每一分钟
寸步不离的跟着
我的呼吸
绝不会忘记
因为你是我的唯一
我们是生命共同体
像银河里的星球
像阳光下美丽花朵
我们是生命共同体
像阳光下美丽花朵
你是天空我是海洋
知道你是快乐我才能快乐
我们是生命共同体
分担你的忧愁
我们是生命共同体
你是我的眼睛我是你的耳朵
抚平你的痛
你知道在这世界上再也没有人比你更了解我
相信我baby我不会让你心碎
我绝对不会永远都不会 抚平你的痛 喔……………………..搭搭拉搭搭拉搭 让你心碎

简单爱
词：徐若瑄 曲：周杰伦

说不上为什么 我变得很主动
若爱上一个人 什么都会值得去做
我想大声宣布 对你依依不舍
连隔壁邻居都猜到我现在的感受
河边的风 在吹着头发飘动
牵着你的手 一阵莫名感动
我想带你 回我的外婆家 一起看着日落 一直到我们都睡着
我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱能不能够永远单纯没有悲哀
我 想带你骑单车 我 想和你看棒球
想这样没担忧 唱着歌 一直走
我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱可不可以简简单单没有伤害
你 靠着我的肩膀 你 在我胸口睡着
像这样的生活 我爱你 你爱我
想 简！简！单！单！ 爱~~~~~~~~~~
想 简！简！单！单！ 爱~~~~~~~~~~

Savage Garden
Chained To You

We were standing all alone you were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
Sweet temptation rush all over me
And I think about it all the time
Passion desire so intense I can't take anymore because
* I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees, like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you
And when you looked into my eyes felt a sudden sense of urgency
Fascination casts a spell and you became more than just a mystery
And I think about you all the time
Is this fate is it my destiny
That I think about you all the time
I no longer pretend to have my hand on the wheel because
[Repeat *]
I feel the magic building around you
[Repeat *]
And I think about it all the time
And I think about it all the time
Tell me it's madness I barely know you
We were standing all alone you were leaning in to speak to me
Ten steps back you're still a mystery
Acting live a mover shaker dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
I can't take anymore because
[Repeat *]
I feel the magic building around you
[Repeat *]
Tell me it's madness, I barely know you

yesterday was a super sickly day.... well... to start off, i had a weak stomach yesterday.... due to improper eating the day b4... so well... stomach really siao... anyway, had breakfast n was really busy from bout 11 to 3.... non-stop of research.... lol.... ended up 35 slides of ppt from me.... lol rite??? n well in the end everything is bout 3 MEGAb.... lol.... 3 mb ok!!!! o did i mention, mine is full of pictures... n well, unless u guys r not afraid of wat is inside u aka ur body, then can show.... coz talking bout how cells die... well... anyway, aft that went to eat... eat so much... then went for training... siao man.... so tired n also too long nv train liao... so weak liao... took a while to get things back to where it used to be.... hehehe....

trainin was cool... as it always is... hehee.... did so much sia.... i am good... heehe.... then aft training called dar... askin him to sent me home... so actually the plan was take train to meet him somewhere in the east then go back together... then he change to geting me grab a cab in cck to take to changi village then to hougang.... lol.... long journey sia.... but i am too tired so everything so nice... hehehe.... finally get to see him again... but did not do anything lar... hahaha.....

o well.... the good thing is that dar dar is so nice... he could haf ask me go back on my own... but then.... in the end, the cab fare is like close to 30 sia.... hehhee.....

dar, juz wanna let u know that... well.... am really happy to do this wif u... hehehe... i love u... muackz...

ok... update for yesterday.... finally got to go to school aft such a long time... lol... n well, came to sch... LATE... hahaha... miss my stop sia.... hehhee... saw uncle darius along the way... so we went to school together... ahhaha.... well, it is kinda cool actually... at least i am not the last one... hehehe... then we went to like eat and all together.... then lunch we got eric to join us... hehhee... lesson sucks lar.... so sian.... vb sucks....

ok... then aft sch went to nines wif u uncle darius n eric.... then chilling there n all... then.... VIRGIL CAME!!!!! hehehe.... so sorry.... hehehe.... miss him a lot.... sorry...

so was like... close close wif him... which i like lar... i mean... i like it when sitting down n getting close physically wif someone... hehehe.... =P so well... that y lar... o n then kevin yup came online.... n i was like... omg... he talked to me... then virgil was like... jokin wif him lar.... then... omg lor.... hahhaa.... shall not say wat happen.... hehehe....

then went back... alone... coz vir went to look for his frens... then DAR DAR FLY MY AEROPLANE AGAIN..... hahaha.... so... didn't haf dinner lor.... then go home lor... reach at bout 10 plus....

then hor... dar dar rite... lol... he hor... wa liao man... reach home eariler than me... still did not call or sms me... then but 10/11 sms me tellin me to wait for his call... then CALL AT 12!!! i was like.... zzzZZZzzzZZZzzz but still wait for him... coz he asked me to lar... then today.... got... test, then training later.... so it is like.... super long day.... n i was like... ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz

well anyway... when he say sorry... all is forgiven... i fact when he calls, all is forgotten.... hiaz.... when will i get angry wif him??? lol....

Sunday 1/08
O well… I slp so much today… woke up at 12 then she complain that I wake up so late… did not eat wif them… I was like LA LA LA LA LA… WAT A BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY!!! Then she juz sit there n I juz like tat lor… never talk… then went back to slp… wat can I say.. it is a beautiful Sunday… for slppin I mean… lol… hehehe… so then I went to church… woke up at 430 to bath… then finish bathing bout 5 like that… then she say “see told u rite?? 5 still haf not change” my reply, not to her though… “sorry lor… a lady always take her time one…” n went to take my time to change, style my hair, pick wat to wear n all this in a long time… till I was late for mass…. I was like… whatever lor… *roll eyes* u wan cold war, I’ll give u cold war… u don wanna talk to me rite?? I also don talk to u lor… see if I care or not…
Well then aft mass, went to haf dinner wif the kids n then we had meeting… we gonna change the whole system of the society… n well… that is one of the reason y I am back… coz they need my help n all… so here I am… back to help… kinda like it man… it is juz so natural to me… like me n dar lor… lol… hehe…

Well that about it… n o ya… she was so donno wat lar… keep on askin my sis to sms me… when the meetin was not over yet… I still haf so many things to settle lor… n she called… say wat… no pocket money for me etc. etc. etc. lol… now I can’t even do server work is it?? N I AM wif my bro some more… then he got money I no money lar… wat the fuck lor… o ya, he is ur PET wat… wat to do… I am juz someone who keeps on giving u problem since my birth anyway… lol… like it is my fault like tat…

Man wait till you know tat I am aj sia….. that will be really fun…. Hehehe… mayb tat can speed up my staying outside on my own… hum… now that a good idea….


Speaking of which…. to you know who you are….
Don think too much lar… if u know that that is going to happen, then we will work it out… you r too precious to me for our relationship to drift apart… n I don even wanna think bout that… if u know something is goin to happen, then lets do something bout it… I donno wat to do or say sia… but remember… YOUR HOUSE STUDY ROOM IS MINE… DON PUT TOO MANY BOOKS THERE… I STILL NEED A PLACE TO SLP ONE… (in case I got kick out…) hehehe… muackz… miss u… a lot…

Friday 30/07
Ok… today… woke up late… coz… playing game… been slppin a lot lately… n well… dar sms me at 7 30 as usual… now he always sms me at bout 7 30 like that… n we chatted… n well.. it is like a continuation from last nite… n he asked me to… “ think of me that you never think of anyone b4, miss me that you never miss anyone b4, love me that you never love anyone b4, kiss me that you never kiss anyone b4..” I think he means “like” instead of “that” so it is like “think of him like I never think of anyone b4……” well… that is wat I am doin already wat… hahaha…. Anyway, then I go back to slp… woke up at bout 12 then play game… hehe… I can’t stand this “mourning” thingy… yes I am mourning for him… but that doesn’t mean that I haf to wear that t-shirt all the time… I will b wearing white, blue or black… n that is the sign I am giving… I don need to show to be mourning… n my mom was like… “ muz wear this, cannot wear that…” n to think that the day b4 I was chatting wif my aunt n they were like can wear anything liao…

Whatever…

Saturday 31/07
Well… slpt late as usual… then in the afternoon bout 12 plus woke up… then funny thing happen… asked mummy for money to haf lunch n dinner n she come n lecture me bout the whole i- spent- too- much- money- n- keep- on- asking- her- for- money lecture again… n then complain bout my sis… I was like… one ear in, the other out as usual… then she gave me 10 bucks to settle my sis lunch n my lunch n dinner… I was like… wat the… staving me sia…
Anyway then went for meeting… well… it is good to be back in server… but… hahaha…. First time back… can’t stop laughing… people play wif fire n burn the baptismal fount… then some “outsider” come n wanna sack the server… o man… this is like crap… lol… anyway then I went to nines… suppose to use the internet… but the network is down… I went there specially for that.. n it is down… lol… well then it is ok… since I can talk to my frens… then had this suddenly feeling… felt very down… think it is this that spark alvin’s period of sadness… sorry dear… didn’t mean to do that to u… juz that… well… juz sorry…
Anyway, was actually waiting for dar to haf dinner too… me didn’t eat the whole day actually… then at bout 9.30 he msg saying tat he needs to take care of his grandparents… n ask me to settle dinner myself n b home by 10.30… I was like… how can… not as If I am in his house… hehe… anyway, he juz don get the msg that
1. I let go of my first stead liao… a.k.a. Adrian…
2. I love him the most n the whatever out of all my other relationships
3. I don mind not meeting my frens to meet him
4. I am willing to do anything for him…

N well… he kept asking me wat if my first stead comes back n ask me to b together again… n told him I will say no like god knows how many times liao… and he still like that… sian man… haha…

oops… too sidetrack liao… then beg wif him later time then he say 11… well… provided food court is near lar… but the only place to go at that time was Maxwell… n well… the walking is already like how long… then still waiting for train… sian man… so he allow me to stay out late…

so had dinner… then sis msg… ask me where I am… blab la bla…. N I was… hello… I am eating… pls… but no… keep on disturbing me… then y?? coz my mummy wans me home now… I was like… whatever man… long time never go out… n today went out is to do school work… you do this to me… so wat actually happen is that according to her we are in this “mourning period” ok fine wif me… n so we all haf to say prayers together as a family… I mean… I am ok wif that… but wat if something like that happens?? Say without me lar… n she got so angry for god knows wat n then wanna lock me out… well I don mind… not like I care like that… n dar still blame me for goin home late… I mean… pls lor… if we haf gone for dinner together as u planned at 9 plus, I will b hone latest by 11 lor… n I was waiting for u lor… he always called me when he is home… n the thing is that I will b far away from home… n it is like… o well… whatever lor… then he is like… ok.. it is his fault… but.. well… I never blame him… not for anything even if it is his fault… juz can’t bring myself to do that… hahaa… n my mom…. Think she is under this period of grief and was like… totally uncontrollable outburst of emotions… I was like… ok I can understand… but hello lor… your father is also my grandfather lor… like u r the only one sad like that… I am too lor… n y is it that I always haf to give in to u?? when I show care n concern for u u r like “I can take care of myself” ya rite… I really donno wat to do to make u happy or to suit u u know… u like things to b done ur way… n so do i… y u can do it n I can’t?? that is so selfish lor… don u think?? Huh??? Tell me!!!! Man… wat r u thinking sia…
o by the way, she did not lock the door… thank god for siblings…

Wednesday 28/07
Dar woke me up at bout 7 plus wif his sms… hehee… nice start…. Then went to haf breakfast… today is gonna b bz…. Well.. went recon the church n well kinda settle a few stuff… then came back for prayers… then well… did a number of things n then prepare for the funeral mass… at first bb was too sick to serve but in the end he served. Which is a good thing I guess… the last thing we did for him…. Well… served wif the ctk people n well… they are a nice bunch of people… we kinda copy each other’s style so the whole mass was actually quite…. Well.. messy in a way but everything was done when needed… so aft mass we went to the crematorium and well… there was… a lot of crying… I donno lar… juz… gonna miss him a lot… sob sob… I think… I never cried as much today as I did b4… but it is his funeral that brought the family close together and also made me closer to my own family members… still, I hope that he is here to see this… but then… guess not… the only thing I asked for from him is not money as most of them asked for…. Not car… but for dar dar’s well-being hope that dar dar will get a stable job soon… donno if he can answer that request or not… but that doesn’t matter… all that matters is that he is in peace n that he has lived his life to the fullest… n that he fought n won… n now, he is at peace… wif god…. Amen….

Anyway, aft all the crying, we got back for dinner… haha….i finally got my appetite back… ahaha… then… well.. we went for prayers n all.. n then went home… too tired lar… then dar dar called me n we chatted a while… this month bills is going sky-high again…. Lol….

Anyway, wanna dedicate this posting to my ah gong… I said this b4 n I will say it again…. U need me to do anything juz say n I will do it for u… love you always… sadly missed by ur grandson, ah boy…

Thursday 29/07
Slpt so well last nite… hahah…. Then went to collect the ashes in the morning… kinda cool lar… they only gave us the bones… was kinda surprise that the is the left over of the burning… o well… we took the bones n put it into the urn and bla bla bla…. Whatever… so well that NICHALOS guy helped us… I mean… I muz b understanding… this is the first time he met a family that knows more bout the liturgy then himself… lol… whatever…
Then we proceed to the church to place the urn… ok… aft that went back to my uncle’s place n then we had dinner n then went home…

Well… these are some of the “visions” that happened during this few days… ok… these vision are not seen by me… rather my aunt n a guy named Brandon… who kinda special…

Vision 1: Tuesday
My aunt, while praying, saw her dad, my grandpa’s brother, came down from heaven to bring him up. When she say that she kept crying… that is coz her dad love her the most… well, at least we know that my grandpa is in heaven… my grandpa loves his brother a lot n was really sad when he died in 1992… so happy that they are together now… before that, there are many things that happen that show that he knows when he is leaving… but too long to write…

Vision 2: Wednesday
This Brandon kid, when we are going into the viewing room… a room where u go n see the coffin moved into the incinerator, saw that my grandpa was playing wif Jesus and they are like joking and all… all the while when the coffin was moving to b burnt… they are like long lost close brother finally met again… well at least I know that he is wif the lord…

Vision 3: Thursday
Again this is seen by my aunt… in fact, she was surprise to see this… she did not see my grandpa or her father, my grand uncle… rather, she saw, when we were putting the bones into the urn, our lord in the garden of erm… donno how to spell… the garden where he pray to god b4 he die… she saw him there praying for the whole family… well… that is wat my grandpa was praying for all this while… not for himself… but for the family… ahh… the faith of my grandpa… n it is him that made me… well… enjoy saying prayer again… hehehe…

Well… these are the things that people saw… but I know… when the need arises, my grandpa will come n find me if he needs help… or if anyone else in the family needs help…

Sunday 25/07
Was slppin till my sis called me… askin me to read 11.15 mass at bout 9 30…. Well ok lor… then I cannot slp liao… so went to church…. Donno lar… then mass… finish went to meet dar… lot of things happen lar… was suppose to b angry wif him… but I juz can’t be angry… so… donno wat I am feelin lar… hehe… anyway he did not do it on purpose… so… no need to be angry…. Hahaa…. Then went to his house… man… so glad I went…. Coz… got wat I need n wanted… hahaha…. Something only he can give me…. Haha… man dar dar… I love u… muackz…. Well.. aft his house went home to slp… coz I hafin duty… as in the watch… overnite one… so reach that quite late… n once reached start to do things again…. Ahaha… then chatted wif the servers lar… n my dad’s family… hahha…
So after they left… as in all of them, we… well… juz sit then play dai di…. Then… juz pass time like that lor… well… my 2nd aunty was quite… well… sad still… n… wat to do….
Ok… now this sounds strange… but I felt my grandpa’s present… and… kinda… felt that he wanted me to comfort my aunt… I donno lar… all I know is that he is goin to heaven… n that well…. I really donno lar… juz… I know it is him… n till now he is still takin care of us… man… he is great…. So at bout 8 plus me n my sis made our way home…. N get our much needed slp… lol….

Monday 26/07
Well, slpt the whole day… haha… then at bout 4 plus Jeremy called n well.. we met for lunch… ahhaa…. He came down to my house area to eat and… we had a nice chat… hehee… anyway then I go home n went down to my uncle there… wif mummy n bear bear…
Reach there juz help out lor… then buis, Eugene n Bernard came… well.. most of the time spent wif them… then uncle simon came…. Then we realize that we really are distance relative… damn distance sia… haha…. Had mass… then juz as I was about to haf dinner dar dar called… haha… chatted a while then went for dinner… brought my granny up to her room towards the end of the day n well.. we kinda chatted… haha… so aft that went home n slp… tonite only boys… daddy, bb n me… hahaha… anyway, nite nite… will b staying over tml n well… well busy…

Tuesday 27/07
Went back to amk at bout 6 plus in the morning… coz meeting the priest at bout 7 am… then reach ctk found that the priest is sick… so we went back… the priest said that he will b dropping by bout 11am or 4 pm… aft 11 am he did not arrive so I went home to slp… then wanna go wif mummy at bout 3 but bb sick… so mummy bring him go see doc while I went alone… went to haf lunch then met up wif the priest… my dad’s father n step-mother is here so I haf to like… leave them wif my uncle… then settle the mass liao went to entertain them… by now my mummy haf arrived… then brought them to the bus stop… had mass at bout 7ish n well… nice homily but don like the priest… too action pack… haha… then went serve people… well… a funeral minister came… n he kinda tell us what is goin to happen… till the last details… like… “when the coffin reaches so n so, you all should already all be crying..” n tell me… a SERVER how to serve… n tell my sis a LECTOR how to read…. “you must read slowly and loudly so that people can hear wat you are proclaiming…” piss man…. N that is not all… then quarrel wif my mummy… then made me cry… haha…. So piss n angry… then my sis came over…. N we talk… I find that no matter wat, I still respect her as my sis… n well… we talk… n kinda solve everything… n well… happily went back to haf dinner together… actually b4 that already talk to dar dar out it… but… sorry… juz can’t control my emotions at that time… and also my mummy…. Hiaz… wat to do… both of us haf our own thinking…. Hahaha… so aft dinner I went to chat wif my granny… happy thing is that wat I am feeling is rite…. My grandpa was wif us aft he died… n he only left today… he went brought up to heaven by my grand uncle, his younger bro… n two person saw that… I juz know… n they were saying that we should write letter to say goodbye, I didn’t wan to… coz I never say goodbye to him… in fact, he knows that anything he needs to be done he will tell me… he told me to comfort my 2nd aunt as she was crying non-stop the nite I had duty… n he told me to tell my grandma that he is happy and up in heaven wif the rest of his family n not to worry bout him… he told me to take care of her as well… all of which I had done n well b doin… well.. coz I went to slp wif my granny n chatted wif her for quite some time b4 slppin…. Hehee…