to said i am sad now will b lying...... to say i am happy now then i am not telling the truth.....

man... i donno wat to say..... today being u know wat day, two person already asked me out..... hiaz..... got rejected..... y??? donno lar...... well the person i wanna go out wif isn't gonna ask me.... well guess nv...... tried callin him everyday but no reply..... guess he change his phone liao....... wonders y am i so stupid to still call him everyday......

tok to one of my fren juz now... we went out 4 dinner n so chat...... hiaz..... he is teaching me to let go...... now i come to realise someting..... but will not follow it......
it is up to us if we wanna let go of something or not......

mayb i did, mayb i didn't..... but i kinda let go of my sec sch frens liao..... coz well we used to b very close.... now juz frens...... hiaz...... donno lar......

still thinking of miss neo...... when will i stop?????

miss him still.................

people around me..... don leave me....... i donno wat will i do man.......

wat a day man......

hahhaha..... this is so cool!!!!! finally over!!!! so coo!!!!! o my god!!!!! so great!!!!!! we did a great job!!!!! this is so great!!!!! AAAAHHHHHH so happy......

but cannot go coffee outin...... so sad..... coz i need to atten ycs meeting..... o well... no one to see anyway.... heheheheh

hiaz.... we screw up the first play of the day.... miss lines n all... but it was quite ok i think.... but then hope that we will be better.....

o n rock climbing is cool!!!!!!

join RP man

PRODUCTION!!!!!

finally the BIG day arrived!!!!! production!!!!! yea!!!!!!
okok yesterday first show at 2.... ok... people haf a lot of energy n power...... it is such a power play..... well... too power...... hahahaha..... so now we haf to tone down.....

then 2nd play...... people knows wat we r hinting n toking bout..... but no power..... hahaha.... so well now we juz haf to combine two together n make this good....... ehhehehee......

okok..... 2o mins to play as i type......

aft the 2nd show at 5, went to meet jeff to go to cck to the cheer team there..... mike not goin so YEA!!! WE'RE IN CHARGE!!!!!!!!!

that is cool!!!! hahahha yea!!!!! well... we teach them how to do elevator..... hehehe...... then do full X n straight full X with laila....so cool!!!! omg she is good!!!!

well all in all the gp is very good..... we haf to work more now..... n then i reach home at 1145!!!!!!
damn late!!!! so stupid.......
o man..... so slppy.....
okok porduction in 15 mins got to go liao!!!!!! wish me luck

yesterday, we haf drama practice...... well at least now i can easily get into charactor...... n well the whole drama group is so tired liao..... poor thing..... i am too..... but as a cheerleader..... i cheer them up.....

but come to think of it.... who can cheer me up???? beside him......

well then went to meet my son, grandma n linus...... cute guy..... hahaha.... the only person who says he is not cute is himself...... well... up to him..... juz find him cute tt all.... unlike many others i know who got so turn on by him...... hahahaha...... okok......

anyway went to fullerton's baker inn to meet them..... tok cock sing song...... then just think bout three
person......
1. him.....
2. hahah.... ken
3. donno wat his name......

well..... kinda haf feelings for them.... but then i will not n do not wanna get attached....... so......


so i finally managed to pluck up enough courage to call him but cannot contact him...... so wat to do...... i feel that i don miss him as much now...... n tt makes me feel guilty....... lol........ stupid pisces...... o man..........

i can't stand it when i know wat people is thinking........................... coz people donno wat i am thinkin..... y??

wrote this last nite...... at the merlion park...... water n inspiration...... lost more lar.... but lazy to post

lovers 2 be
lovers we're not
lover as we
but mayb not
under the sky
of nite so dark
there goes my heart
with a raging start
today just make
the first of the last
the last of the days
we spent at last
try as we may
try as we might
but never again
do we try so hard
make a good end
that what they say
how many did
how many end
just by your side
is all i ask
but just that favour
is too big to ask
so mayb one day
one day soon i hope
i will forget you
forget u? i won't
round round we go
cause there is no end
then comes the day
we all begin
begin again
but never last
how at long now
my heart still lust
mayb u found
someone new
but my heart still
remains with you
with the sun rise
and setting moon
i feel my soul
lost control too
like a mad man
a mad man i'll be
till you come running
back to me
i know it's impossible
i know it's not true
but one thing for sure
i know i lost u.........

yesterday...... hahhahahahaaa.........

mornin aft church went to meet alvin n toshi. though it was for the backstage crew thingy... who knows it is actually for a production called "private parts" n omg..... i was as to audit as a DRAG!!!!! OMG!!!!! hello i know i am *ahem* but then..... cannot lar...... so scare..... omg.... n then kinda like...... omg!!!!! o well tt was ok.... then we spent the whole day out..... so cool!!!! a bit of waste but spent time wif them.... hahaha

now the sad things tt happen.....
o man..... today juz keep on thinkin of him... reminding me of him....... him n only him...... donno y..... GOD I MISS HIM LIKE HELL!!!!!
so sad yet happy..... feel like crying yet so nice..... o man....... bittersweet feelin.....

then hor...... went to jox...... n saw ken.... again...... hehehee...... kinda haf something for him...... hahaha.... will happen or not then also.... see how lor....... then tt stupid alvin.... hint to him...... WA LIAO!!!!! i already said.... don wanna move so fast...... now wan to b single..... n still haf him......

thank god tt linus only attract me not make me go ggaga over him like the rest...... he join ugly thread???? i think something is wrong..... wrong thread lar boy.... u should b in the cutie thread..... hahhaa....... make so many people go gaga over u..... hahahaa..... so cute.......

well tt yesterday...... kinda cool

today, stupid com donno wat happen..... lag like siao....... damn stupid....... so ass....... o well wat to do.... hope to survive a bit more ...... if not need to go IT help-desk liao.......

o well...... n yesterday mummy tokin to my aunt..... the way she say it is like prepare for the worse...... i hear until like...... donno...... i juz donno...... kinda like ........ donno if i can handle it or not..... but then if i can't i will also not tell anyone..... hahhaa..... kinda always leave people out of my prob..... hahhaaa.....

donno y i laugh so much.......

okok.... posting for sat one......

well..... hiaz...... erm..... heeemmmm......

good day today..... but then..... well not so good i guess...... coz went to pick my grandpa up fm the hospital but he still not feelin so good so staying longer....... ok but then he complain of pain here n there n it hurts...... not only tt..... they(doc n mummy n aunt) suspect that the cancer cells may spread to the bones...... o man.... i hope not...... but if it has.................... =(

then went to see my grandma....... she is fine..... but sick..... hiaz.... haf not seen her so sick for such a long time...... o man....... =(

well then went to meet toshi n my dear son.... hahha so funny....... y?? donno.... guess more happy lar..... then alvin came along n b4 tt meet linus...... OMG HE IS DAMN CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D hahhaa.....
but promise myself not to b attached so can juz orgle..... =) hahahaa

these days been hafin the feelin to call him...... but don dare...... he nv calls me n i did not call him..... i don think he will ever call me...... hiaz...... ='( so nice if i can see him again but if i do, i will b happy then cry like no tml..... so to see or not to see???? hiaz.......

o guess u all may haf been wondering who HE is...... well guess u all know...... he is adrian..... hiaz...... wat to do.... alvin juz told me this..... tokin bout zuzu tellin me to let go of birds in a temper n i said i don think i can do it aft i brought the birds coz i will b too attached to it..... (i do....) then alvin reply tt sometimes it is better to release the bird..... it may b good for them...... ya i know.... but wat if it isn't??? n well wait makes u think that the birds wanna be released???? hiaz.... i think too much..... i know..... but then...... o there i go again......

tok to my mummy bout my cca today..... she is complaining bout cheerleading.... again..... well she said she don like it n it is for sissys blar blar blar....... told her this..... wat i like n wat u like is different and i am not goin to quit..... n she keep quiet..... so i won i think..... hahahaa.......

i was thinkin...... cancer is genetic...... will i get cancer????? if i do can i get it sometime soon??? so i can leave this world soon...... lol...... WJ's mom once told her tt i am someone who keeps thinkin os sucidial....... last time, laugh at it..... now..... think bout it...... i don wanna kill myself...... juz wanna die..... o n without injection...... kinda scare of needles...... lol...... dead bodies not scare...... needles .... scare like shit...... hahahahhahaa........