i was thinking about a lot of things that happened to me these days...

am i really very good?? haha.. y i say this is coz there are a lot of people who say they are not worthy of me... well.. y?? am i really that good?? or r u that bad?

next on irc... well unless u put chat and mayb more i don think anyone wanna chat... so like chatted wif this guy.. well he seems nice... talk on the phone some more... then told him no i don wanna meet.. well.. already said chat n mayb more liao... then he accuse me of cheating him... o well.. wat to do...

then this another guy who lives overseas.... we meet, he not happy wif the way i handle things... then say don wanna contact... then i was like ok fine... then sorry lor... then he tell me if i change then mayb can still b together... so fine... then one day i msg him... his reply was that if i don wanna procede wif him then don contact him... i was like... erm... but then u said that we can try... so ok lor... since u wanna me to make a decision then fine lor... so ok... things were fine... till he msg me last nite... lol... n ask y i did not call him... i was like... erm... coz u ask me to make a decision.. which i did... but did not chose u... then he was like ok then forget it... interesting...

well looking back on my bf.... i really donno wat to say... all of them got their very good n erm... the bad... i donno... how much worthy am i of them?? hiaz...

wonder when will i get my answer from him... or is he hinting?? hehe.... nvm i will wait....

so i haf this prob wif lilin... not really prob lar... well u see... i kinda like her... LIKE her... nothing sexual or wat (me not turning straight) n well... was thinking of dating her... but then... so many things to think bout... n also, there is only one person in my mind these days... so it is like... ok.. nth btn me n lilin... but then... wondering... hehe...

i think there is no point in asking me out on saturdays nite liao... coz i won't b free.... hehe....

by the way.... vir went overseas.... muz pray for his safety... well... so many things to pray for... god's gonna b bz... hehe...

sun moon star
watchers of us
sent thy light
n heal all who ills
upon thy shine
cure our pains

hehe... remember our first show together?? hehe... i did... did this specially for u... hehe...



ok... i know... i am crazy bout u liao...

*takes a deep breath*

i love the way u smell
i love the way u talk
i love the way u teach
i love the way u walk
i love the way u drive
i love it when we're lost
i love to spent time wif u
i love when we sneak around in school
i love the way u look
i love it when u smile
i love your car so much
i love it when it's hot
i love all your songs
i love all your shows
i love how u seems to know all
i love it when we talk
i love missing u
i love being wif u
i love when u worry bout me
i love when we keep us low profile
i love the way u dress
i love when u r sad bout the shirt i got for u
i love it when u doze off
i love the time u come online
i love the things we do
i love wat happen in your car
i love goin out wif u
i love studying wif u
i love studying u
i love thinking of u
i love the way u show ur care
i love the rubbish we talk about
i love the way we talk
i love all your bouncy bouncy thing
i love everything bout u
i love the usual thing that happen on msn all the time
n i can go on listing all that i love about u...
but to say all in one sentance... i love u...

dear santa... here is my wish list... erm... from number 1 to 5 is something that i MUST have... the rest, i don care when... hehe...

p.s. : put here means i wan... doesn't mean i have to get for christmas.... but... hopefully santa can give me...

p.p.s. : if cannot get me also nvm.... but 5 muz haf...


1. for his daddy to get well (his daddy is sick... very sick... n he is very sad... n so am i)
2. him to b mine... (selfish guy here... oops... does that mean i am in the naughty list??)
3. take care of all my family members... (including outside one... )
4. school work all settle...
5. a PS 2 (only thing for myself..) n some games if i can ask.. hehe...
6. chocolate
7. MP3 player
8. new hp that can take photo
9. digital camara
10. clothes?? haha...


anyway... santa, hope i am good enough for the first 5 gifts.... hehe... merry christmas n a happy new year...

wat happen on sunday was... stupid lar....

kinda still thinking of what happen on saturday morning.... n wif wat he said to me on msn... n wif people complaining that i pass the cough to them... i juz kinda blow up... n so... my nick... hiaz... n on monday it juz got worst... kinda a brought forward thing.... so change my nick to don bother don care and something which i cannot remember.... anyway... he monday while he was in sch n i reached home liao, he msg n ask wat wrong... kinda... well... don wanna tell him coz angry wif him mah... then realise that... i so stupid... haha.... he didn't really mean wat he said though wat was said hurts a lot... then when he is home... i msg him... n well if u go n see his msn nick, i think it is for me... well then aft that, we talk... n well clear things up... n so... got my current nick... hehe...

yesterday he asked me wat my nick about n who is it for... so i told him... it is for him lor... hehe... well... i really donno wat to say... juz that i totally enjoyed myself yesterday nite.... but muz say sorry to wes coz i cancel our outing... hehe...

well... now that he knows wat i mean... i really donno wat will the result be... but then... watever it is, i can n will live wif it....

n really muz control my emotions.... nowadays really bad sia...

n juz wanted to put my poly forum pics in the msn.... then he was complaining... all the pic i stand behind.... n well... i don like to take pictures mah... in fact, i don think there is a pic where i stand in fornt as the main b4.... lol.... hehe.... anyway, working on my smile.... hehe... hope to take more pic of him n take wif him... hehe...


suddenly i come to realise a few more ability that i have... lol... suddenly so... wordless...


Suddenly
Acting
Mad
Unlike
Everyday
Liking

haha...

Soaring
Kite
Yearning
Everything

.....

u donno bout it.... but everytime i heard this in ur car... i juz feel like hugging u...

Come on hold my hand, I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand, this role I've been given
I sit and talk to God, and He just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language, I don't understand

I just wanna feel, real love fill the home that I live in
Cause I got too much life, running thru my veins, going to waste
I don't wanna die, but I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love, I'm preparing to leave her

Scare myself to dead, that's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived, I can see myself coming
I just wanna feel real love fill the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life, running thru my veins going to waste
And I need to feel, real love in the life ever after, I can not get enough

I just wanna feel, real love fill the home that
I live in I got too much love, running thru my veins, to go to waste
I just wanna feel, real love in the life ever after
There's a hole in my soul, you can see it in my face, it's a real big place

Come on hold my hand, I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand, this role I've been given
Not sure I understand, not sure I understand
Not sure I understand, not sure I understand

为什么只和你能聊一整夜
为什么才道别就又想再见面
在朋友里面 就数你最特别
总让我觉得很亲很贴
为什么你在意谁陪我逛街
为什么你担心谁对我放电
你说你对我 比别人多一些
却又不说是多哪一些
友达以上 恋人未满
甜蜜心烦 愉悦混乱
我们以后 会变怎样
我迫不及待想知道答案

再靠近一点点 就让你牵手
再勇敢一点点 我就跟你走
你还等什么 时间已经不多
再下去 只好只做朋友
再向前一点点 我就会点头
再冲动一点点 我就不闪躲
不过三个字 别犹豫这么久
只要你说出口 你就能拥有我

为什么 你寂寞只想要我陪
为什么我难过只肯让你安慰
我们心里面 明明都有感觉
为什么不敢面对

我不相信 都动了感情却到不了 爱情
那么贴心却进不了 心底
你能不能快一点决定
对我说我爱你

unappreciate: concern bout someone... but he don believe....

unwell: wat more to say... blame it on the cup of ice lemon tea....

unknown: someone juz don understand my msn nick at all... all the time....

unheard: someone did not even know that i went for dinner when i msg him goin 4 dinner.... hiaz...

unthinkable: cannot think at the moment... hiaz... tml lesson sure die.... and also.... nvm....

god...