ok... today seems to b a relization day....

so he posted me a few questions...

1. why do i go for older guys?
2. 80% of the gals look for older guys... y?
3. 20% of gals who go for younger guys.... how they maintain their relationship?

then aft a few sms, i kinda realise a few stuff.....

who i am before... how i am now...
mayb how i gonna or wanna b next time....

ok... firstly... i guess i was the kinda person who.... sets high expectation on others.... expect them to b this or that.... n if they don meet it... bang... bye bye....
another thing is that... this expectation will increase... n if cannot meet... bye bye....

well... in a way.... i kinda refuse to see wat they see.... n kinda follow by my own way.... that is so selfish of me.... well... now... wanna say some things to my EXs....

Adrian
of all of my EX u r one who broke off wif me... well... firstly i will say it is a mistake... a mistake i made in letting u go.... well... i don think u wan me back... not that i still wanna go back to u... haha... well all i can say is that... u taught me the aj circle... showed me a lot of stuff... i guess... i owe some of who i am to u.... hehe.... well thank u for all that u haf done... u may not know... but u really haf done a lot to me.... made me where i am today... but... i am moving on.... i know u haf... but sorry... took me 3 yrs.... to really let go of u... thanks... n all the best...

Devane
should i write bout u? well... all i can say is that... pisces n virgo doesn't mean will go well all the time.... don relie too much on it... it takes two hands to clap.... not two heads....

Benny
i guess... nth to say... i really donno wat to say... u still angry wif me? haha... put it this way... these things are over long ago... n i donno wat u r angry wif... but then i am not affected... don really care... do i sound mean? i hope not... i really really mean wat i said...

Philip
ok... firstly... i guess in a way.... i was... wrong... well... i dare not say it then... but will say it now... i broke up wif u coz i kinda lost the feelings i have for u... i don wanna use any reasons... as they may b seen as excuses.... so ya... n i donno if u still have feelings for me or not... but i would like u to move on n find someone who deserve u more than i do.... n finally... pls pls pls.... trust ur next bf.... if he doesn't say he loves u everyday doesn't mean he stop loving u... take care kk...

Alvin
not u alvin.... i know wat u gonna say....
anyway... the reason.... coz like i said... u did not meet my expectation... n well... i am in the wrong i know... but then... summerise... work or me.., choose... n u choosen work... so i will go... now all i can say is that sometimes.... u got to go for that person u like.... i did not go aft adrian.... that y he left me... now, i will not let my current one go... throw wat he wans at me i will not let go unless i really haf no choice... u r the first to let me go without a fight.... well.... i guess i kinda took ur word n left.... hehe.... well.. wat to do... sorry...

well... guess that sums up all my EXs.... good or bad i don care... now i live the way i wan n i got to...

firstly... overcome my fear of... those stuff.... u know the things that craws.... n needles...
next... gramma....
then... dressing
lastly.... overall... hehehe.. muz b more... "man" haha....no lar... adult more like it....


hmmm.... wonder how will i turn out....

alrite!! fm now on.... i will not b michelle's five yr old son!!!!!!