Tuesday
Hectic day sia… go to work in the morning then in the afternoon go for training… kinda haf to haf lots of training due to the fact that the performance is on Thursday and we kinda still learning the movements n hoping that the stunts go up… o well… when I reach cck Kenny called n told me that today is alvin’s birthday… I was like “shit!!!!” hahaha… forgot…. N tml twin’s birthday… siao liao… anyway, training was like…. Hell…. Coz we was pushed way pass our limit… n a lot of people are injured… n kinda… from day one till now… I was never badly injured before n jeff was like…. Almost all of the time… hiaz… how ar… I kinda so protected mah??? Hm….

Anyway we ended at bout 10 10 plus like that… n then rush all the way down to see Alvin n wish him happy birthday…. Hehehe…. Reach there everyone go off… kinda sad sia…. Coz like… I rush down… as in really rush down… n they all like see me say “o finally can go liao”…. Kinda gives me the feeling that since that is the case y don u all go first??? Y muz wait for me?? N also if waitin for me for u guys to go then mayb I shouldn’t haf gone in the first place… o well… then I wish Alvin happy birthday n well all that rushing down is worth it… coz a birthday is once in a lifetime… u r only 19 or 20 once… n I wanna wish him happy birthday on the day itself….. n I did it… even though not in tip top condition…. But I did it… so that all I care bout…. Hehehe…

Hey Alvin… it seems that our frenship have lots of ups and downs sia…. Hehehe… not juz last time or recently but also I, forsee, in the near future n aft that… but I really treasure this frenship we haf… thank you very much for all that you haf done for me… am really glad to haf u as a fren… although sometimes I do (n enjoy) irritate u a lot… hehe… thank you for being there for me n all… n see me through a lot of things… am really glad n thankful for all that you have done for me… haha… really can’t stand it… but this few days seems to suffer form this “no words can describe” symptoms… ahhaha… whatever it is, juz wanna tell you that I’ll b there for u as u r for me… n I am there for u not coz u r here for me… but coz u r my fren… =)

Well I was hungry (as usual) so went to haf supper wif my kors… namely linus, andi n jave… went to lao pa sai… ahhaha…. Was playing energy ball… teaching linus kor n juz playing…. Realise how weak I was sia…. Hhehehe…. Then haf wanton mee for supper…. Then took cab home wif andi kor…. Slppy n stupid kor… keep telling me how horny he is n making me think of dar dar…. U guys sure know for wat lar… ehehhehe =P

Sometimes I wonder… will I stay in cheerleading??? I mean I enjoy doing that… but then… mayb not wif this group of people… although can go well with them… but just not my kind of people to work wif… so how??? Hiaz…. Sob sob….



Wednesday

Today’s training is at 1… and well… was late as usual… hehee…. Then we went on to well… brush up our stunts… but kinda frustrating… I hate it when people don turn up for training…. N so some stunts cannot do… especially those that require a lot of people like M pyramid and 6-2-1… damn sia…. Then these two are those that cannot go up…. N still people did not come for training… =O

Nvm… today, kinda slack… coz well… hehehe… people not here wat… so got good n bad lar… n also lots of injury… o did I tell u… I got the ability to heal… ehhee… kinda knew it a long time ago… wanna improve on it… now… is a lot of energy for a little healing…. Next time is a lot of healing using a little power… hehehe…. All those people I tried to heal their injury all tell me they felt better… although not completely… but at least they can do stunts rite??? Hehehe….

Training ended at bout 5 today…. Too much injury n too little people liao…. So ended at five lor… then went to meet up wif kor… as in linus kor… bath at his house n then went off to meet the rest of the people to celebrate twin’s birthday… haha… was late…. AS USUAL… hehehe…. N it is all my fault… hehee… took too much time… to get ready… hehee… anyway reach this food court… donno how to spell the name… then took a long time to decide on wat to eat… AS USUAL… hehehe…. O well… then ate mince meat noodles… aft I am done…. (last to finish AS USUAL) we went to nines…. Meeting twin there…. Hehehe… he didn’t know I will b there so early… hehee… told him I end training at 10 so he wasn’t expecting me…. Well me went wif andi kor to go buy cake… I was not juz kinda… I was very very excited… n anticipating his home coming… hehehe… donno y sia… can’t wait to see him… although he was gone for only 3 days… hehehe… anyway… kor n I share the same taste…. The same cake caught our attention…. Hahaa…. So we got that n went over to nines… twin was already there… n I was like…. HAPPY HAPPY!!!!... hehhee…. Anyway I went there n started serving all of them… hehee… donno y… this feels like me n him throwing a birthday party n I felt like I haf to serve the rest of the “guest” hehehe… took over micheal’s job sia… hehehe…. Can work for him liao…. Hehee….

Anyway saw uncle simon… as in the co-owner of nines… hehe… now got two uncle simon liao…. Long time never see him sia…. Actually saw him yesterday lar… but then.. coz got to go liao so did not chat much… was glad to see him lar… in a way… like… see people whom u haf not met in a long time… hehehe… okok… back to the birthday party… I remembered all their drinks sia… hehehe… good rite?? Hehee… o well… serve them liao then sms dar dar… coz I wan him to come… then.. well… I beg him to come lar… then he came… he was very very tired... so he took a cab down to say happy birthday to twin n sent me home… we sent Alvin home as it is along the way… haha… actually when he comes down I am already very very very glad n happy… coz I know wat kinda person he is n wif him coming down… I am really very happy…. Hehehe…. So so sweet of him… well although he was complaining… but I can tell this is something he did coz of me… hiaz…. So nothing to say liao….

Would like to thank these people who turned up…. Namely…
Linus kor, andi kor, jave kor n his bf.. erm… donno his name sia… ian, ryan teach, david (u n me), Elton, n I think that all… well.. not counting danny n his fren Jeremy I think who joined us for dinner… o ya… now for ahem… message….

My dearest you who knows what I am thinking… ( not dar dar)
HAPPY BRTHDAY TO YA!!!! Hope u enjoy this birthday celebration…. Hehhe our first of many together sia!!!!.... ehehhehe…. Miss u so much sia…. Glad that u haf a nice trip n all… I wish u all the best…. N juz one more wish… that u will get whatever u wish for…. Hehehe…. N this is a short one…. Coz firstly, there is no secret between us so u will know how n wat I am feeling… n also that wat I wanna say… is more than words…. Hehehe…. Once again… happy birthday!!!

O wanna add something Alvin…. Wat is yours will b yours… wat is not will not b…sometimes… it is better not to know… the future I mean….

Well that about it for Wednesday…. O o…. forgot!!!!!!........

I know that u will not read this… but I wanna say this still…
Am really really touched that u came down…. I know how tired u r… hehe… n that u r the best… I donno wat to say when it comes to telling things to u…. bout how I feel n all… coz there is really no words… it is juz feeling… n I know u can feel it too… yup… I agree that there is no point thinking bout how long will we last or whatever things… n also telling each other that we will love each other forever as such things are never certain…. So I juz wanna let u know… that I love u… for now…. N I hope forever… donno how long will we last… but I know that now… I am happy… n u r all that matters… n…. every time I miss u… I miss your touch… I miss your hug…. I miss your kiss… I miss u holding me…. I miss lying next to u… I miss being close to u… I miss your voice… I miss your attitude to me when I do things in a way u don like… I juz miss everything…. Your face, your hands, your everything… n I can go on n on… n if I can haf juz one wish…. I woulf wish that wat andi kor told me will b true… that we will b together forever… I love you dar dar…. Muackz… =)


Thursday
PERFORMACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok that was how excited I was….. a few minutes before the actual thing…. Ahhhaha…. I was like in a slppy mood n all… as usual… and training was like… slppy… n also…. Like… muscle… too weak…. Not enough warm up I guess…. Hahaha…. Then…. Performace…. COOL!!!! All stunts up!!!! No mistake… well… not really no lar… got… but was saved…. Hahahaha….. cloud nine sia…. Hahahhaa….. and also for the 6-2-1 we change it to all warriors only as we already did something like that before… hehehe…. This is great sia…. Ahhhhahahahahhahahahahhaa….. sorry…. Too happy liao….. so anyway… the whole day was spent there….

Janna, our coach… well… she motivate us…. N well… she cried… as in… this is the last time we are together wif the young lions cheer team….. the last time we are young warriors…. Kinda sad as the bonds we built…. How to say…. I donno lar… don really like the people there…. I mean… nothing against them…. Juz…. Not so close to them lar…. So… I was like… erm… ok… so we are gonna split… so wat??? Hahaha…. Sad… ya… a llittle… don like changes wat…. But cry?? Erm… If I am close I will…. But this… well… no…. but to do this performance for janna… for the team…. I will put in my all…. Hehehe….. yup yup…. N it was good!!!! Wat can I say man…. We are good!!!!..... hehehe…. Thanks young lion!!! Thanks janna!!!!
Slpt like a pig….. too tired… hehehe….


Friday…. That is today… as I update my blog…. For the past few days…. N it will b in well… small time… coz I am in camp… ehehee….. anyway… am in downtown east food court…. N the rest of the people??? One gp in wild wild wet… the other??? Arcade…. Wat can I say??? But hiaz…. Thank god I brought lappy…. But he is running out of power….. sob sob….

Ok… that all for now…. Mayb will update tonite…. If I cannot slp….. hehehee…..
Time 1330

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Ok… am officially bored!!!!!! Got ice-cream… but then…. Nth to do!!!! Damn… battery… don run out now….. sob sob…. Kinda haf a spoilt mood this morning aft scolded by mummy… then got better when updating my blog… n dar dar called…. Now…. Hiaz… goin back to that mood….. damn man… y did I come so early??? O ya I know… to take care of bags…… while people went to WWW n arcade… o well… fine….. *PISS*

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Thank god they are back… or else I would haf lost my top…. Ice-cream melted till donno like wat liao….. but…. Still *PISS*

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Officially com battery low… left 4%... last post till I find power…. Now eating very chocolatey chip ice-cream…. A mixture of chocolate ice-cream n chocolate chip ice-cream…. *PISS*



Saturday 0139
Just finish first part of the meeting… kinda remind me of last year… hiaz… how things change…. For those of u who donno… last year is the year I come out… hiaz… long long ago… there is this boy… he is known to be very irritating and loud… tend to hide his feelings from others… everyone sees him as one who is never angry… never sad… u can joke bout him and nothing will happen… someone whom u can make used of… perhaps some see him as a fren… one who can confine problems wif… but runs away when he is hafing prob… he is trying to find himself all these while… all the feelings he kept bottled up… his fears, his joys, his happiness and sadness… anger and likeness… everyone “knows” him… he is like this… he is like that… guess no one actually wanna know what he has gone through… what he feels…
People change… especially aft sec school… for the better or worst?? I donno… the boy decided that he is aj and wanna see the aj world… to open up his inner feelings…. to see is it for him… had a bf… who… in a way, is not really a bf… never enjoy the time they had wif each other… seeking for love… found lust… then found a forum for people like him… went for his first outing… met a guy… guy told him that he loves him… but then sch starting… to go or not to go into a relationship?? Spent a day thinking of it… thought of nothing but it… had mixed feelings… pain… sadness… eagerness… decided to go for it… and finally found and realize what love meant… aft months of break-up wif that guy…
This year starts wif boy finally knows the way he wanna live his life… how he would like to do things… finally open up to people he can trust… people who are there for him…
O man…. One year has passed……

From aft my last post till now…
At 1410 they came back aft changing… kinda ok lar… well… whatever…. Then went to check in… then went to arcade to play game… came back…. Slack…. Play Xbox… then… went swimming… hehee… then went for dinner…. Was there for bout 1 hr 30 mins…. That was how crowded the place was…. Hiaz… anyway then came back for meeting…. Evaluating of events…. Then evaluating of personal performance for the year…. Mine…. Since I am in charge of spiritual… n last year I came out… so kinda screw up my life… spiritual life lar…. Then aft which I told them…. Something personal happen… that y I was not up to standard… well… how to say… I haf grown… yes… but I haf let anne down… disappoint her…. Man… I am so selfish…. Thinking of myself…. And not doing my work.. and now… she almost did everyone of the exco’s job…. And to think that she is my mummy… my fren… my soulmate… n I did this to her… hiaz…
She has done a lot… I am thankful… glad too… n there is nothing I can say to hold justice to what she has done n also to her… I think we, the exco really is a bunch of people wif great capability in our own field thus this year, we haf a great exco… but we are one of the worst… for forgetting bout our dear fren… our mum… our ex… our best fren… our president… Anne…

Don think I will b able to slp liao…. Guilty…
Kinda now … drinking beer… donno y sia… juz feel like… hiaz… donno wat I am feeling… sad… nope… disappointed?? Nope… was thinking y things muz turn out like this… was hoping to get drunk… but… hiaz… don think I would wan… this day… soon… I may still b wif Adrian… can’t remember the date liao… sometime around this time… we got together… sometime around this time… I became YCS exco member… and someday soon… I fully became aj… thinking of Adrian… a bit lar… not missing him as a well… lover… more like missing him… bout wat donno… but missing him….

Goo Goo Dolls’ Iris… used to be the song that describe me… City of Angels… I used to feel like that… that I was sent to help people… to take care of them… at the expense of my own… people comes to me for help…. To help them… to advice them…. But anyone for me?? Nope… everyone has this… “what problem will samuel have?” kinda feeling…. N when I heard that I will be like… ok… I know u don wanna help…. So don really tell people wat I feel… used to tell dom n anne… haha… now… kinda close them up… wanna open to them again… hiaz… feel like smoking now… hiaz…. The only person who lights up my path now is dar dar… am happy that I got him…. Wat can I do without him man… not only that… it seems that… he is my strength now… my courage… my everything… donno he knows that or not…

A year later… during January, boy met this big bro… big bro very nice to him… and also they can talk well together… in fact, big bro seems to know boy boy well and even to the fact that he knows wat boy boy will do in this or that situation… they both can click very very well…. So well that boy boy do haf feelings for him… and that when he haf any problem will find big bro… until one day… big bro asked boy boy… if boy boy haf any feeling for him… coz he knows boy boy haf… boy boy answered… yes… he haf… but he don wanna get attached… coz he still cannot forget his first… and big bro told him a whole lot of things… n that he will b there when boy boy gets over his first… in april… boy boy asked his fren… how… to wait for his first??? Or to this bro… who is still waiting for boy boy… y wait?? So wat if u too get back together?? So wat??? U will b obliged to do everything for him… who knows… he may make used of u… y not go wif the one waiting for u… u donno if he is the right one… but at least u tried… n that is all u need… n so boy boy asked bro… bro’s answer… open urself to me… and u will got only love in return… nothing but love… and I promise u that forever… and when they got together… the love they made… was full of love… nothing but love… it is not sex… it is not fuck… it is love… I opened up myself to him… n all I got in return is love… nothing but love…

well… if anything were to happen to me… I hope that twin u will pass this blog link to dar dar….. it kinda haf all that I wanna tell dar dar… answers to questions he asked me… and also wat I wanna say but then too engross wif him to tell him….


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Man… slpt at bout 1 plus 2…. Then… morning… hiaz… so early wake up… bout 8 plus… then went to haf laksa for breakfast… wrong choice sia… hahhaa… tummy ache… =P

Well then had our first discussion… bout the goals to fulfill this exco… then discuss… aft that was on how to improve… o man… so sian sia… hahaa…. Then had lunch.. then come back now lar… morning msg dar dar… still no reply or call… guess he is busy… hiaz… miss him… =(

Now… waiting lor… for the next session… hiaz… wat to do… play game or wat?? N haf some irriating gal now reading this… hiaz…. Now got two sia…. One is desiree… next is Adeline…. Hahaha…. Donno wat they wanna see sia…. Then that not all… correcting my mistakes… hated people doing that sia…. Man… now got even more…. Hiaz…. New comer Doreen…. Women…… donno wat they wan sia…. LOL…. Then call me siao…. Sorry lor… forgot to eat medicine,,, hahaha…. Finally found some “entertainment” sia…. Them reading my thoughts…. Haha,,,,,

I miss my cards…. I miss playing energy ball… I miss my life…. I miss my life… I miss my frens…. I miss my bed… I miss aircon…. I miss slppin…. I miss cheerleading…. I miss music… o wait… I miss listenin to music ALONE…. Donno lar… so many people here… heehehe…

Currently listening to M2M’s the day u went away…. Then thinking of that day… one year ago….

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Finally finish meeting till before dinner part… hiaz… so sian…. I mean the meeting… but we haf to do it lar…

Anyway, dar dar called me not so long aft the previous post… then.. feel so happy lar… hehee…. Now free till 1800…. Going swimming wif Johnson….

Anyway to tell u guys the committee who are here…
Old exco : anne, Nick, dom, Johnson, Baldwin and me… xue li came yesterday and po chuan is not free…
New exco: desiree, fernie… who is sick… Donovan, Adeline, Doreen, jonathan and cam, comin later n wan jin who is not…. O wan jin is WJ… for your info…
N jenny n ping ping is here too… okok… think Johnson is goin to kill me liao… I am goin to swim now… hehee… cya later…. N missing dar dar as usual…. Hehehe…..

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Wow… dinner was cool sia…. Okok… aft swimming, we went to haf dinner at fisherman something at pasir ris park… hehe…. Then aft that we had a talk… well.. juz a talk… haha… kinda not really… erm… talk… juz like… passing time… so we went back… the journey back seems so long… hiaz… don like the mood…

Reach back, we got back to the meeting… now is on the position… which is still happening… hahhaa…. N I am too sian liao… so updating… =P

Now will see aft this how they will turn out… hehee….

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Well… aft a long discussion… the new committee is finally up…
President: Adeline
v. president: jonathan
sect. : cam and desiree
treasury: fernie
spiritual: Doreen
training: Donovan
communication: wan jin…

haha… nice sia… the formation of a new committee shows the end of my work as an exco… which is good… n nice… but sad in a way…. Juz the stepping down part… but finally can like… don do anything… hehe…

o well… I do hope that dar dar is aslp… if not hor tml when I go his house he still slppin again… miss him like hell… hiaz…. Hope can see him tml man… coz I really misses him n Monday starts school liao… hiaz….

Anyway… think that this will be the last post for today… don think I will wan n need any more post…man… this few days…. Felt so…. Well… feel like…. Setting things for them…. Felt like I was not needed…. Donno lar…. Juz… o well… old exco… how many staying??? Mayb only one…. Baldwin… how??

sunday
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Ok.. everything is over… slppy… will update tml…