donno why but then was kinda thought about death again... suddenly the world don seems like that important... juz people... people i know and some of which i haf not been in contact wif for some time....

well... one is a kor of mine... i know him for like... 4 yrs plus liao n till today... only met up wif him... bout... less than 5 times.... mayb 4 only.... we do chat a lot on msn when we are free... but even not meeting a lot, i don feel uncomfortable talking bout a few things wif him...

another person i kinda miss is my ah gong, gabriel... he is currently in KL... i used to go out wif him almost every nite... wif alvin too... haha... he got a whole gang of frens here in singapore... n it is always really interesting and cool to hear his stories n meet his frens....

well... donno how come.... suddenly feel like... gonna die pretty soon... haha.... mayb true... mayb not.... but coz... if i were to go... there will b one person i cannot bear to leave....

this thought was kinda in my mind... that if a person stay wif me, and is not happy, then i rather that person go... if aft the person left, he or she is happier, than i would b fine to haf let them go... i donno... too many things happened... i am not the kinda person who will let go of people so easily... but i guess i got to learn to do that... u never know... it may b for the best....

donno how come... now kinda... used to being single i guess... i no longer haf this wanting of someone wif me... or to call my own... mayb coz i given up.... mayb coz a gp of people who caught my attention are attached... or mayb those who showed interest i am not interested in... o well... it doesn't matter... gonna b single for the rest of my life anyway... would b nice to die b4 i got too old too... then at least got someone to plan my funeral... haha... never wanna die too old too...

had a number of dreams... firstly that i killed someone i will never kill.... someone whom i can never kill... thought i am sure if he has to he will kill me.... but surprisingly the setting is like in battle royal... scary... well he is not the only one.... i recall killing my elder sis too... haha.... well... if someone were to kill me... make it fast... i don like pain.... n make sure u killed me... coz i don wanna suffer from any other effect if i don die....

which brings me to the point... if i were to contract a illness.... like cancer... or i met a car accident... will i try to survive, or will i just let go.... hmmmmm....


so if i were gone... i hope all of u won't hold on to me... mayb not too much....