well... some update for people reading my blog....


firstly.... something happened to me... between me n him.... not emotional wise.... physically actually.... haha... a really nice n hopefullly once in a lifetime experience.... which i do not wan to talk about.... some of u know some don.... so ya....

this is more for myself to remember.... in case i forgot.... we had a heart to heart talk..... n he wishes to keep all the things that happen between us private.... so i would like all of u who ask me bout him n me not to ask anymore.... n hopefully i can keep my big fat mouth shut....

wat i feel, is really something i cannot keep.... n i got to say.... i really enjoy the time spent together.... hehe.... love it.... and also.... all that we have been through.... but there is juz one thing.... that i wanna know.... but scare to know.... i am sure if u read this... u will know wat it is....

who u really are? i think i am begining to realise that.... juz that u still haf not know bout me.... but it is ok.... hehe.... for u i will give up everything...... i mean it.... i will protect u from everything.... unless it is.... cockroach.... then.... we will really haf to run... or we can always call my bro... haha....


juz something to say bout today.... i am worried... but something i come to realise... we all love n worry bout each other so much to the extreme.... but then.... is it really needed? haha.... i know i cannot stop worrying bout u.... bout wat happened to u.... especially when i say ok i will not worry bout u n u reply me wif something worst.... hurts u know.... i donno y.... but it does.... but... i come to realise this.... we both still need our space.... we both still need the part of making something go wrong n settling it ourselves.... i know that.... i am worried... but not so much liao... i know u can take care of urself.... when needed.... i trust u.... though i am worried but i know u can take care of urself.... i will too.... i will take care of myself when u r not around so that i can be in top form to take care of u when i see u.... haha.... mayb's bout time i also call u my boi.... haha....

ok so u see ar.... wes call his dear dar dar... which is wat i call my ex.... so i should follow his dear n call mine's boi... haha.... my boi.... hmmm....... interesting....

actually was feeling kinda lonely... haha.... was looking for people.... but then.... i donno.... juz a personal feeling.... it is like.... i know everyone can say n mean it when they tell me that they will b there for me... anytime i need a person to talk to can find them.... but the truth i come to realise is that (quote from st. paul's letter to the romans i think) i cannot talk to lots of them.... how to explain.... like.... there can be many people who likes u.... but u do not have that chemisty to like back.... so it is the same wif talking bout my problems to people.... i can talk bout anything wif anyone but i cannot talk to anyone bout many things..... i msg someone whom i can talk to n then... he is not free.... this makes me think bout last time when he asked me out n i rejected him coz i MAY b goin or am goin out wif my boi.... felt... kinda guilty... n bad.... haha....

mayb i really am made/ cut/ suppose to b lonely.... so be it.... but as long as i am wif him.... i don care....

haf u guys watch my date wif a vampire 3? it is love story.... (again) but this time.... i realise that not being able to let go of love is so bad.... n i realise... i donno wat will i do if we don work out.... but... that is for other time... n another blog entry....

for now... i got to go bath n eat.... alone... at home.... wif.... THE STUPID FLYING COCKROACH!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!